Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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69

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Women's rights

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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