What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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my penis

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops