What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops