What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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