I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Jesus Christ

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8

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Gustavo Andrade

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops