I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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