Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

What rhymes with milk...milf

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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