A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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bite me

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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