Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Pickle

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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