what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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