Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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