When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops