A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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