A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Caroline Kelly.

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man walked into a bar owch

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops