If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops