What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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