A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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