"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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A lot eh?

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Once upon a time a was born

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops