A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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