What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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