There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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David Cameron

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops