An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops