What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

My three children are three big mistakes.

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

Hello.

Is Yered a dumbass? YA

Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

Grace Ackerson

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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