Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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i'm hard

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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