What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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