A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Jebron Lames.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops