A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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