A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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