why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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