What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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I'm so punny.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops