Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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