I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops