A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Chris is hairy

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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