Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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