What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -51

You're welcome. On to the next house.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What's just not right? Left

thumb_up thumb_down +44

yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +34

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +32

men, men like men= men+bed

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops