- Anti Joke

what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

Your mums a potato

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

What is square and grey? A grey square.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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