Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...