what did the orange say to the apple? hi

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

thumb_up thumb_down -36

two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops