So a bar walks into a man...

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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call me maybe.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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