I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

kieran is a homosexual

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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