what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

women's rights.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

What comes after Friday? A ?.

What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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