Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

Knock Knock The guy opens the door

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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