A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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