Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

Men's rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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