- Anti Joke

What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: Leaving the cinema Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

lewis=cardiac

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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