Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops