Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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