Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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