A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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