If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops