Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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