What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Robin, get in the car!

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops