Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

Donald Trump

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

360 NO SCOPE

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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