What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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