Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops