Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

no rasist joks

a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

ur gey

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

haha

what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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